Beat the Monkey

Original post date: November 21, 2005

Right now I am waiting for the garage door guy to come. Also, I am waiting for my uniform to dry so I can starch and iron before I go to work. I am so tired and only got about one hour of sleep. So I thought I would post the story that I give to all the young airman when they asked me "Sarge why the fuck do we have to do this?" They only answer this when I have time to answer. In some situations you shouldn't ask and just do. People depend on you to follow orders. I personally feel that when I give an order that was given to me I won't pass the buck and tell the airman, "Hey I don't want you to do this, but the lieutenant says we have too." That just breaks down the military system. Well enough of my rant, here is the story.

There was this experiment that involved five monkeys in a two story cage. On the second story there were all these bananas, berries and all sorts of fruits monkeys like to eat. When the monkeys found out about the food on the second floor. They tried to go up the stairs to get to the food. The scientists would then spray the whole cage with painfully ice cold water. Sooner or later if a monkey tried to go up the stairs the other monkeys would throw him down and beat the tar out of the poor monkey. That went on until no monkeys tried to go up to the fruit. Then the scientists replaced one of the original five monkeys with a new one. This monkey had no idea about the water and when he saw the fruit he tried to go up the stairs. The remaining original monkeys dragged him down and beat the tar out of him. The new monkey had no idea why he was getting his ass kicked, but he was getting his ass kicked. Finally the new monkey didn't try to go up the stars.

Then the scientists took another one of the original monkeys out and put a new one. Again the brand new monkey tried to go up the stars and again the rest of the other monkeys including the first new monkey beat the tar out of him. The first new monkey had no idea why we was kicking the brand new monkeys ass, but he was following the crowd and kicked the monkeys ass anyways. Scientists kept replacing monkeys until only one of the original five monkeys was left. Then they replace that original monkey with a new monkey. When that brand new monkey tried to go up the stair to get some fruit. The rest of the monkeys started to beat the shit out of the new monkey. Keep in mind that all the monkeys that are in the cage now have never been sprayed by water and have no idea why they are beating up this monkey trying to go up the stairs, but they are still beating up the brand new monkey. And that my friends is the beginnings of Air Force policy. You do not understand why this is the way you are supposed to do it. Nobody remembers why a particular procedure started. However, you still have to do it.

So now when a young airman asks me "Sarge why the hell do we have to do this?" They understand when I tell them. "Airman just beat the monkey." If you don't get my story. I apologize I tell stories better than I right them...